This is from two years ago today.
The anguish griped me like an icy hand. I felt tears sting the backs of my eye lids yet I could not bear to open them. My mind was still foggy from the sedative but I couldn't remember why they needed it. I sat straight up in the bed but the memory pushed further back. Stabs like knives pummeled my belly and that's when I remembered.
My sweet little fetus was gone. The hope for the baby he left me with was gone. The little life that had kept me fighting for air when he left had left me also. The warmth in the winter of my soul had extinguished. All the air left my lungs with this realization. My chest felt empty, I was again but a shell.
I heard a horrid scream seeming to come from far away. I heard a familiar voice murmur, "Oh no, she's still hurting." Hands seem to grip me from everywhere. I felt as if they were taking more of me, so I fought them but they . I understood only when they were holding me down again and the sweet needle was in my veins again that the scream came from my dry, cracked lips.
Delirious sleep rescued me again. I wouldn't have to deal with the grief until I resurfaced. Then, maybe then the sorrow would dull enough for life to continue.